I’ve been trying to teach myself how to spend money on myself without feeling guilty. I’m not very good at it because when I give someone a birthday present, instead of thinking “oh that’s so sweet!,” the thought goes something like this: “I bet he’ll be really happy about getting such a thoughtful gift.” It feels horrible and it usually leads me back into spending less and struggling with guilt and shame forever more. What do you think?
“Money dysmorphia” is a term that has been coined to describe the feeling of guilt when spending money on oneself. This article will help you understand how to spend money without feeling guilty.
I often read about people who overspend and end up in debt, but I seldom see tales about those who struggle to afford the things they need or want. For years, I struggled with a financial incapacity. I never wanted to purchase anything for myself, no matter how much money I had.
It took me a long time to make a decision. I spent a lot of time researching prices and looking for legitimate discount coupons. Then I’d walk away, concluding that everything I desired was too expensive.
If I had the confidence to spend money on myself, I felt terrible about it right afterwards. On occasion, I had to cancel an order. I felt terrible and sorry at other moments.
“Perhaps it’ll be cheaper next week,” I reasoned. “Perhaps I don’t need this.”
When I spend money on myself, why do I feel bad?
While it’s necessary to be prudent with money, I found myself second-guessing every purchase. My acts and attitudes irritated me, but I felt powerless to alter them.
I put a set of bright plates in my shopping basket one day. I didn’t need them, but the way they glistened under the lights was appealing.
I imagined the cuisine I could serve as I held them in my hands: delectable desserts, salads, and appetizers, but my feet were locked on the floor. I paused, unable to go to the cash register.
“Would I be sorry if I made this purchase?” I was perplexed. “Did these come at an exorbitant price?” “Would they get dusty and inactive?”
I put the dishes back on the shelf, strolled down a few aisles, and then came back to put them back in my basket. I repeated the process many times, evaluating the option and the expense each time. I eventually had to leave the shop empty-handed.
I wasn’t in debt, but I couldn’t bring myself to purchase anything.
What Are Some Good Ways to Spend Money on Yourself?
What do you do with the money you save for yourself? It was a nagging question for me. Everyone else was free to spend their money as they pleased. They ate costly dinners in restaurants and shopped for new outfits on a regular basis.
They didn’t eat depending on the cost of a meal, and they didn’t wear the same clothing to work every day.
I wanted to go out to dinner without considering the expense of each course or purchase a museum ticket on the spur of the moment. I fantasized of enjoying an ice cream cone while strolling along the waterfront or riding a merry-go-round simply to spin.
Why couldn’t I do it? Why did I feel awful about purchasing items for myself? I’ve never had trouble buying presents for my spouse or children. Why did I find it so difficult to spend money on myself?
I found the errors in my logic after a fair bit of self-analysis and introspection. Due to a succession of restricting ideas, I’d gotten emotionally tied to money.
I needed to eliminate money barriers and build a good connection with spending if I wanted to spend money on myself. The problem was that I didn’t know how to alter.
After another trip to the supermarket leaving me empty-handed, I decided it was time to break the spell my mind held over money.
I’m here to assist you if you’ve ever questioned how to spend money on yourself. After years of avoiding to purchase anything, I devised a strategy for spending without feeling awful or guilty. The following are the steps I took:
Spend money on yourself by creating a financial plan.
Start by evaluating your money on a regular basis. Make a clear picture of how much money you make and how much money you spend on basics each month. You can’t know how much more you have to spend on items you want until you know where your money goes.
Because I was concerned about ignoring other elements of my budget, I always felt awful about spending money on myself. Would we have money when we needed it if I purchased something?
A budget may assist you in determining where your money goes. With the statistics in hand, it’s easy to think that a few little purchases won’t change your life substantially.
If your finances are tight, it may be time to make some cuts. Take your most current credit card statement and a red marker. See how much money is slipping through your fingers when you’re not looking. What are some of your favorite purchases? Which ones make you feel uninspired or uninterested? Remove everything that isn’t going to create a lasting pleasant impression. Then spend that money on something you really want.
Make it a priority to take care of yourself.
We put ourselves last sometimes, in front of everything and everyone else. I’d pay for groceries, purchase gifts for my spouse, and make sure my kids had everything they needed. Then, at the bottom of the priority list, put my desires.
A budget may assist you in allocating funds to all of the aforementioned items. You may save money for your children, home, spouse, and yourself all at the same time.
After you’ve paid your bills, you shouldn’t feel bad about spending money. A budget aids in the visualization of reality. You are not depriving anybody by meeting your own wants.
You’ll feel more confidence in your spending choice if you examine your income and expenditures or evaluate your budget. After you’ve taken care of everything else, it’s time to put some money aside for pleasure.
Investing in yourself is not a waste of money.
You may still be afraid to spend after reviewing your budget. Even though I understood how much money I had, I still felt awful about purchasing anything new.
I figured it out eventually. I squandered a lot of my money. My dining room table would have looked great with the set of bright plates I wanted, but we never hosted occasions or holidays.
For Christmas, we go to my parents’ place, and for Thanksgiving, we go to my in-laws’ house. Backyard barbeques with paper plates and wheelbarrows filled of beer and ice are the norm at our get-togethers. We don’t host gatherings that need the use of fine cuisine. It would have been a terrible waste of money to purchase them.
Consider items that you will utilize if you want to spend money on yourself without feeling awful or guilty. I shouldn’t purchase a wardrobe full of work clothing if I wear sweatpants every day. Similarly, if I despise working out inside, I should avoid joining a gym.
What Should You Spend Money On?
Spend no money in order to acquire a buyer’s high. Purchase items, events, and activities that will be beneficial in the future or will give enduring memories. Your house will get cluttered if you have a large stack of unneeded items. The idea is to spend money in a manner that helps you live a better life.
Consider if you really need this item. What value it will add to your life and if it will be a wise long-term investment. Reconsider your buy if you don’t need it and it doesn’t bring value. You’ll eventually be able to spend without feeling guilty, but in the meanwhile, it’s a good idea to set a goal of looking back and being satisfied with your purchase.
Don’t be scared to make a few mistakes when figuring out how to spend your money on yourself. Perhaps you bought something today that you won’t use tomorrow. When this occurs, consider your purchase. Keep a joy notebook and check it periodically to see whether you still get excited about the thing or experience you bought. Use this information to help you make future purchases.
Concentrate on the distinction between spending and waste money. When you spend money on things that enhance your life or provide you pleasure, you are not squandering it. Concentrate on purchasing items that you will utilize. In the best case scenario, look for new experiences, hobbies, and products that will improve your life. How are you going to do that?
Spend money to improve your self-esteem
To begin, think of every dollar as an investment in yourself. I make stock market investments and hire contractors to enhance my home. I put money into my children’s education and the companies of my friends. Why can’t you invest in yourself if you can invest in other things?
What can you purchase to help you learn, develop, and improve? Do you want to learn something new? Is it possible to locate workshops, books, or online courses to help you discover new interests?
Before you go out and purchase anything new, consider how it will benefit your health or happiness. Do you wish to learn a new language, take up a new pastime, or relax?
Is your life a bit out of whack? Do you get the feeling that things aren’t going as planned in your life? Perhaps a life coach or therapist might help you find a better path or a more optimistic mindset.
What would you do to help yourself feel better? Meditation or yoga lessons may be an option for some of us. Others like seeing new places or meeting new acquaintances.
Don’t forget to include the little things that may improve your life while preparing your list. What might you acquire to help your life go more smoothly? Do you want to start your automobile using a remote? Are you looking for an espresso machine to make great coffee every morning?
Are you looking for containers to arrange your morning cereals or boxes to store your children’s socks and shoes? Would adding additional plants to your home make you feel more at ease? Is a little waterfall enough to induce zen?
Do you want a floral arrangement for your dining room table or a herb garden where you may harvest basil before preparing pizza?
If it’s difficult for you to spend money on yourself, concentrate on things that will make you feel better about yourself or your surroundings.
To Feel Proud, Spend Money
What is your most cherished fantasy? What would you do if you had the power to make your life better or more meaningful? Figure out what you want to achieve before you spend any money.
If you’ve discussed writing a book, go out and purchase special diaries to record your life’s events or enroll in an online writing school. If you’ve always wanted to learn to play the piano, invest in a high-end keyboard.
What do you think would make you proud? Would it make you happy if you could keep up with your children? Do you want to swim two laps without pausing or run a mile without outgassing?
Would learning to create gourmet meals for your friends and family or decorating cakes for your children’s birthday parties be enjoyable? What if you could learn to paint or crochet baby blankets to give as gifts at baby showers?
My buddy wanted to solve all of the crossword puzzles in the New York Times, so he acquired newspaper and magazine subscriptions as well as a vocabulary-building software.
There’s no limit to the possibilities.
Spend Your Money Where Your Time Is Spent
Consider how you spend your time to remove any worries about squandering money. What can you purchase to make your life better?
Every day, where do you spend the most of your time? Consider purchasing a home gym or hiring a personal trainer if you want to spend it training. Spend it on new cookware, cutlery, or culinary lessons if you spend it on cooking.
Acquire the ability to be authentic to yourself. Allow yourself to let go of the person you believe you should be. Don’t purchase beautiful plates and silverware if you don’t entertain. Don’t buy silverware and equipment you’ll never use if you don’t love cooking.
Don’t waste time thinking about what you “should” be doing. Instead, take an honest look at the minutes on the clock and figure out what you want to do. Then make purchases that are related to those activities and experiences.
My 94-year-old grandma was a wonderful person, but she detested spending money on herself. She spent a lot of time watching television when she was in her nineties.
She objected to the thought of purchasing a new TV, and she also objected to paying for high-definition programming to increase clarity and get more channels.
It’s time to update your viewing experience if you spend the majority of your time in front of the television. We eventually got her a new TV, but she refused to get one for herself.
Spending money to get more time
You may spend money to free up time or spend money to spend money where you spend time. Don’t know where to start? Consider the duties you despise or the time-consuming jobs you despise.
Is it possible to hire someone to clean your home, create a website, or mow your lawn? Would you rather have someone do your grocery shopping or prepare supper for you once a week?
While these are big-ticket things, there are also minor methods to save time. Cooking and cleaning time may be cut in half using crockpots, robot vacuums, and pressure cookers. Prepared goods from the grocery store may also help you save time in the kitchen.
While financial independence sounds wonderful, the ultimate aim is time freedom. Find methods to spend less time on one element of your life, and you’ll have more time for the people and things you really like.
Spend Your Money on Things That Make You Happy
What does it take to make you happy? Is it unwinding in a hot bath, jogging a mile, or getting lost in a good book?
If you want to treat yourself, look for items that make you feel alive, healthy, energetic, and stimulated.
If you’re having trouble getting out of a bad mood, look into counselling, meditation programs, or life coaches.
Do you want to feel more comfortable in your own skin? Then, if you’re going to utilize it, invest in a gym membership or a new bike to cycle around the block on. You can never go wrong with investing in your health.
Allow no one to pass judgment on your purchases. My buddy despised her gray hair but refused to pay the money to get it dyed. She felt elderly and cranky every morning when she glanced in the mirror.
She was vain about her wish until her mother consented to pay for a costly cut and color after a year. She left the salon feeling completely transformed, and she’s been coloring her hair ever since.
Don’t dismiss your alternatives because others may not value them as highly as you do. I’ve come to terms with my gray hair, but it doesn’t mean you have to.
Many of us feel better about ourselves when we look well. Investing in your hair and apparel might help you feel more confident. The idea isn’t to fill your wardrobe to the brim with clothing. It’s about acquiring high-quality items that make you feel good about yourself.
Spend money on clothing, a haircut, or a day at the salon if you feel better when you look beautiful.
As a reward, spend money.
Create a sequence of incentives if you still have trouble spending money on yourself. Do you wish to give up soda, meditate every evening, or increase your daily exercise? If that’s the case, make a goal and tie it to a monetary reward.
Let’s imagine you want to go for a stroll around the block after dinner every night. Give yourself a $20 spending allowance or put $15 toward a future purchase of your choosing if you reach that objective.
Goals may be created for anything that makes you feel better about yourself, your home, your career, or your life. Perhaps you’ve established a goal for yourself to be more sociable. You plan to check in with your elderly uncle twice a month and to phone pals once a week to say hi.
You may put $10 toward a future financial goal if you’ve completed those chores. You don’t have to go broke to take care of yourself. After you’ve accomplished other life objectives, reward yourself with tiny delights.
Use the purchase as a motivator to keep going after your hard effort.
Keep in mind that financial objectives aren’t the only ones that count. Concentrate on a broad range of goals, not only ones involving money.
Invest in Happiness
I was always scared that if I spent money now, I wouldn’t have enough afterwards. What would you say to your future self if you couldn’t afford to spend? Your future self does not want you to have to wait indefinitely to enjoy your life. They urge you to start making a better life plan right now.
I spent so much time thinking about long-term goals that I kept pushing current goals aside. Is this purchase going to keep me from retiring? Will it help us achieve our goal of becoming debt-free? I wanted to make sure I had enough money in my emergency fund, retirement funds, and health savings accounts.
“Will you regret living stingy?” question yourself every time you hesitate.
Spend money on yourself by enlisting the assistance of others.
If you’re still stuck, seek assistance from family and friends. My spouse is aware of my financial difficulties and tells me not to be concerned. He’ll instruct me to put the coupons away and press the purchase button.
Talk to someone you trust if you’re feeling horrible or guilty about spending money on yourself. Discuss your preferred buy with others and solicit their opinions. It might be helpful to have someone tell you, “You have no cause to be sad.”
We rely on accountability partners to motivate us to exercise and eat well. Similarly, you may enlist the assistance of a spouse to help you spend money on yourself now and again.
If you find this unusual, invite a buddy to join you. Enroll in a writing workshop or a pickleball lesson together. It’s also easy to spend while you’re having fun with someone.
New memories are formed as a result of shared experiences. Consider death the next time you hesitate to pay for anything. Then take a look into the future. What incidents would you wish to reflect on when you’re ninety years old? Will you regret not taking a vacation, passing up the opportunity to watch your favorite musician perform live, or spending time with friends?
Spend money on yourself in order to set a good example for your children.
If you have little children, keep in mind that they are watching how you handle money. Explain why it’s important to put aside money for leisure. Make an effort to be an example of how to spend money joyfully.
Stay-at-home parents often find it difficult to spend money on themselves. Don’t get preoccupied with ignoring your wants by living frugally. Instead, show your children that you appreciate yourself and treat yourself to a treat now and again. Don’t make them believe you have to give up everything for others.
Your children will grow up with a healthy perspective if you have a good connection with money. Demonstrate a well-balanced approach to budgeting. We work hard to gain money so that we may spend it. We can add pleasure to our lives if we stay within our budget.
Make a mantra that you can repeat every day.
If you’ve gotten this far and are still having trouble spending money on yourself, I have one final suggestion for you.
Make a mantra and say it every day. “I am deserving of spending money on myself,” you say. When you say it, look in the mirror and put sticky notes all around the home if required. Continue to tell yourself this until you believe it.
If you’re feeling guilty about your spending, take a moment to reflect on why you’re feeling that way. The emotion is understandable if you’re concealing money from your spouse, lying about purchases, or living way above your means, but not otherwise.
It’s a response to the financial barriers and restricting notions we developed as children. Did you have a poor upbringing? Have you been shamed, or do you need financial assistance to alleviate your anxiety and fears? Find assistance to work through your prior troubles, then repeat your mantra and allow yourself to purchase new items.
Last Thoughts
If everything else fails, keep in mind that a large sum of money isn’t the end aim. On this planet, we have a certain amount of time. What important are the connections and experiences you share, not the sheer quantity of money you have.
If your primary objective is to save money, you’ve forgotten about all the other aspirations you previously had. Consider your childhood goals, ponder your deepest desires, and keep in mind that death will come to all of us.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to enjoy the pleasures of spending, but don’t let the pursuit of riches overshadow your other ambitions. Money is a tool that may be used to improve our lives.
I spend a lot of time pondering about the events of my life as I become older. The events, experiences, and moments that connect them. The majority of those moments didn’t cost a lot of money to enjoy.
It’s important to learn to live on less and to know that we may live our best lives without a lot of money. However, it is equally important to consider the value that money may give. Is it greater health, more intellectual stimulation, solid connections, or new experiences that you’re looking for? It’s all up to you!
“Spending guilt” is an emotion that many people struggle with. There are a number of ways to spend money on yourself without feeling guilty. Reference: spending guilt.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it OK to spend money on yourself?
A: This is a difficult question to answer. It can be argued that spending money on yourself is not advisable if you’re in the red, but others may argue this too. Some people believe its fine to spend money on themselves if they are already financially stable or have enough time and energy for personal development.
How can I feel better about spending money on myself?
A: Give yourself a compliment – every time you spend money on something that is important to you, tell yourself how great it makes you feel and why.
Whats the 50 30 20 budget rule?
A: The 50-30-20 rule is a business strategy that restricts how much an employee can spend on certain categories. So, for example, if you were spending $50 on food and drink at work every week then your boss might give you a budget of only $30 as long as you dont go over this limit without asking permission first.
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