Marriage is a significant life event, but it doesn’t always have to be a stressful one. Learn what the experts recommend for successful marriage by asking these questions about your partner and yourself before tying the knot.
The “52 questions before marriage or moving in” is a list of questions that can help you decide whether to get married or move in with your significant other. It also has some advice for what to do if you’ve already moved in.
The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say “I Do,” by Susan Piver, has helped thousands of couples connect – or realize they should separate.
We invited members of our Facebook community, Millionaire Single Moms, to post the questions they would ask before remarriage, as well as the ones they would ask a boyfriend or girlfriend today.
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1. What are your objectives for the next two years, five years, and so on?
It’s critical to have a common vision for your future together.
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2. How do you see your future as a married couple?
Do you do everything together, or does each spouse have their own interests, hobbies, and social circles? Is it necessary to spend time alone?
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3. Do you want kids, and if so, how many?
Here are the deal-breakers.
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4. How will household responsibilities be distributed?
The last straw has been known to be a filthy dish in the sink.
There have been several marriages. Frank, loving dialogues, on the other hand, may help establish expectations.
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5. How do you keep track of your spending (rather than “do you keep track of your expenses”)?
This article will teach you how to create and maintain a budget.
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6. What is the total amount of debt you owe?
- Is he or she aware of the answer?
- Are you satisfied with the answer?
Is there such a thing as too much debt?
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7. What are your debt’s interest rates?
Indicates how much interest there is in personal finance.
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8. Do you know what your credit score is?
As already said. Credit is a huge thing in a relationship, and it may influence your capacity to achieve objectives like purchasing a house or vehicle, or planning a wedding.
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9. What are your financial values?
Some individuals may find it difficult to express this question, so be patient with the response. What are your values? is a similar question with the same responses.
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10. How important was money management to your parents?
Money management models from childhood are an excellent predictor of adult behaviors, but you can’t judge a person by their parents.
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11. Do you have any life insurance?
You don’t want to come out like a murderer/gold-digger, but it’s still a nice Q.
How to get low-cost life insurance.
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12. Do you have a GoFundMe account?
The response may demonstrate empathy or idiocy.
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13. Can you tell me about any of your financial goals?
This is an issue about desire, drive, and discipline rather than money.
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14. How near are you to accomplishing your objective?
Success is seductive! It’s a turn-off when people speak a lot yet don’t do anything.
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15. Were there any setbacks? If that’s the case, how did you overcome it?
Resilience is both vital and appealing. It’s also worth noting if a person has the humility to confess loss, struggle, or difficulty.
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16. Do you value opulence or are you content with a modest lifestyle?
In a long-term partnership, a shared sense of personal money, saving, and spending is crucial.
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17. Where do you wish to reside (geographically)?
Are you close to your friends and family? Is there a work that requires one partner to be near to a certain location? Is it better to live in the city or in the country, in the mountains or on the beach?
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18. What are your plans for retirement?
If you both plan on having a lot of free time in retirement, this might bring you closer together. You may also connect if you both aim to be highly engaged with job and volunteer activities. Alternatively, you and your spouse may choose to live distinct lives throughout your retirement years.
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19. What makes you feel loved and supported (keeping in mind that these feelings can shift over time)?
Here, love languages play a significant role. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Lasting Love is one of the most influential love books of all time.
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20. Could you tell me about your recent history?
It may seem like a job interview question, but asking your loved one to take you through the last few years of their life and offer additional insight about how their circumstances or actions connect with their ambitions may be informative.
The most reliable predictor of future results is recent past. Divorce or breakup, becoming a better parent, and financial losses such as bankruptcy are all part of the human experience. How you deal with and overcome them reveals who you are.
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21. What have you completed recently that has brought you closer to your objectives?
If personal development is vital to you, you’ll want to be with someone who is likewise striving to better.
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22. What are your talents (apart from trying to sell me something you believe I’ll like)?
Self-awareness is essential — and enticing.
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23. What obstacles did you have to overcome?
An response to this question may demonstrate humility, progress, and provide insight into what molded this possible spouse to the questioner.
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24. What are the values that you hold dear?
Not only is the answer to this question crucial, but the ability to answer it clearly demonstrates that the individual has considered who they are and what matters to them.
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25. What do you use to describe yourself?
Again, finding a means to express yourself demonstrates maturity and what important to you.
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26. What role does reading have in your life?
It’s possible that intellectual curiosity will be a deal-breaker.
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27. Are you proactive or reactive?
Even if the response is “a bit of both,” this is a terrific, thought-provoking dialogue that may help you both learn more about each other.
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28. What does being a good parent mean to you?
Parenting techniques, particularly if the children are still at home, may make or destroy a relationship.
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29. How do you deal with co-parenting?
If you have a blended family, the mother or father of your stepchildren will be an important part of your life, and your husband or wife’s relationship with them now will determine how happy your household is.
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30. How (if at all) do you discipline your children?
A connection may be made or broken by different parenting techniques.
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31. What does your duty as a supporter of your pregnant spouse entail?
This query may seem to be laden with baggage from a past relationship or an old hurt, which is perfectly OK. You’re thinking about it and it’s significant to you.
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32. If we decide to have additional children, how do you intend to support me? On an emotional, financial, physical, and mental level?
Of course, you’ll be ready to respond to the identical question for him.
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33. How well do you understand mental health? How would you deal with things if I was having trouble with mine, and how do you deal with things when you’re having trouble with yours?
This is a brave, direct inquiry that may make a prospective husband or wife apprehensive — or thankful.
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34. What are your thoughts on co-sleeping with your child?
Many a relationship has been ruined as a result of this. Some parents like the late-night cuddles, while others despise the close quarters.
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35. How do you intend to spiritually raise our kid, given our differing religious backgrounds?
Divorce and breakups are often caused by differences in faith. It might be beneficial to have these talks beforehand.
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36. What will we do if a kid with special needs appears?
It’s impossible to know until you’ve been through it, but it’s a valuable talk to have if you want to understand your boyfriend or girlfriend’s inner workings.
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37. How do you see work-life balance after having a child?
A mix of objectives, prior experience with a previous relationship, and reflection on childhood memories might be the solution. It’s also revealing if your spouse hasn’t given this issue any thought.
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38. Will one of us remain at home or hire a babysitter?
If you want to be a stay-at-home parent, you’d best get this one out there immediately.
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39. When you’re triggered, how do you communicate? What do you do when you’re under a lot of pressure?
Sometimes you simply have to go through it with the other person to figure it out — therefore this is a question for you to watch for the answer via behavior rather than an express spoken response. Even though the person’s methods of stress management are difficult to fathom, being honest and self-aware in their response demonstrates maturity.
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Do you have a spiritual life? 40. Do you have a spiritual life? Are you a religious person?
Some religious couples get along because they are both equally enthusiastic — or ambivalent — about their beliefs. Other times, religious differences separate partners and girlfriends, husbands and wives. It may also be a deal-breaker if one individual is devoted to seriously researching their spiritual life while the other is not.
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41. How would we make important life choices if we were in your shoes?
Winner-takes-all? Compromise and bargaining?
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42. Do you still struggle with difficulties from your childhood?
Can we all honestly answer it with a yes or a no? Isn’t it a never-ending battle? However, it was an interesting discussion.
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43. Do you have a family history of addictions, and how have you coped with them?
Alcohol, illicit and prescription drugs, sex, gambling, porn, shopping, social networking, and job are all examples of addictions. If both sides are willing to speak about family history, recovery, co-dependence, and other similar themes, a candid conversation about them will provide a wealth of knowledge and debate.
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44. Do you want to raise your children in the same manner that your parents did, or are you flexible and willing to try something new?
The true issue here is whether or not the other individual is self-aware and growth-oriented.
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45. How essential is physical activity to you? How essential do you think it is for your kids to exercise?
If one individual isn’t in good shape and the other is, well…
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46. Do you think it’s important to eat well?
Large lifestyle disparities might cause a relationship to fall apart, yet comparable healthy eating and workout habits can bring you closer together.
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Will you still love me if I gain weight?
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48. Have you been working for a long time? How are things going for you?
You may value professional stability, ambition, and achievement. Even if they don’t, a disparity in job goals and paths may be a source of conflict in a relationship.
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Do you like it? 49. Why do you think that is?
If professional satisfaction is essential to you, you’ll want to partner with someone who shares your values. A highly ambitious spouse may also motivate — or terrify — you if you are working for the weekend.
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50. What are your thoughts on cheating?
This question is about how important infidelity is to your boyfriend or girlfriend, how likely they are to forgive a cheater, and if open partnerships or hookups are appealing to them.
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51. How do you feel about therapy?
A dedication to self-exploration — including an openness to couples counseling if necessary — may be quite beneficial. You can also discover that a potential companion is much too dependant on therapy for your preferences.
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52. What activities do you engage in with your inner child?
You’re in business if the other person even understands the inquiry!
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53. What are your interests outside of work? What part does your passion play in your life?
A full life outside of work and family, including sports, artistic activities, travel, fitness, and education, makes you appealing and intriguing today, and may provide your spouse with new experiences. Furthermore, a fully committed spouse is a better, less needy, and less fragile companion.
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54. What do you do to volunteer or give back?
The response to this question reveals whether or not your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s values are compatible with their daily lives.
This post was syndicated by MediaFeed.org and first published on Wealthy Single Mommy.
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